Thursday, April 17, 2014

Very punny.

Okay yeah, so it's been a while. Never mind that. I don't have any followers as of now so it really isn't much of a concern. I mean, whatever. As Olivia would say,

"''S'cool, bruh"

Anyway, here is a list of puns that you have probably already heard.
(These work best when read aloud)
"Alphabet soup? More like times new ramen."
"A dyslexic man walks into a bra."
"If satan ever loses his hair, there will be hell toupee."
"When fish are in schools, sometimes they take debate."
"A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months."
"A will is a dead giveaway."
"Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point."
"Eating clocks is very time consuming. Especially when you go back for seconds."
"98% of cross eyed teachers have difficulty controlling thier pupils."
"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it."
"Ever have sex while camping? It's fucking in tents."


As I think I may have stated before, I kind of have a problem with We Heart It, but, at the same time, it's a good place to find interesting photos and funny quotes. So, without further ado, let me present to you what I have found on my internet searches through the pink and white wasteland of teenage angst this week:

(yes, that's an onion)

Stay golden,

Friday, April 11, 2014

Quote of the Week

Because of the recent *heartbreaking* ending of my favourite show, How I Met Your Mother, I decided that this week's quote should be by the great Barney Stinson, because, let's face it, he taught us all how to live. 


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Enough about me (poem)

I’ve been talking your ear off for at least fifteen minutes, and I wish you were listening, not checking your phone. 
‘Cause I know that you’d rather just listen to music and leave this here hellhole and leave me 
But, enough about me.
I want to hear about you. Who are you texting? What songs do you know? 
I like that one by that band on that station. They played it one time on that scene on that show?
But, enough about me.
Tell me, what do you like? What are your hobbies? What’s your favorite food? 
Come on throw me a bone here! I’m making an effort, though I can tell clearly you’re not in the mood.
But, enough about me!
Or, enough about you? Or enough about everyone on this earth walking! Look, I can tell you don’t care about me, so I think it’d be better if you just stop talking. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

When you're on a holiday, you can't find the words to say All the things that come to you And I wanna feel it too

We started a blog in math class today. It was an educational blog, so it wasn't much fun, and the whole time people were complaining. "I hate blogging!" or "This is so totes lame like omg like can u not?" And yes, that is actually how people my age talk. Anyway, that got me to thinking that I should post something today. It just felt like a blogging day, you know?

So, I'm in a predicament. Actually, several. My main pickle at the moment is that I signed up for the school's open mic with my "band" (and by band I mean a rag tag group consisting of a sorta-bassist, a kinda-drummer, and a not-really-guitar player who writes music), and at the last minute, we learned that there are no drums aloud. Then my bass player abandoned me. And now I am, as they say, "AAALLL BYYY MYSEELLLLFFFFF". So I have to sing something and play the guitar/ukulele in front of my entire school, and I have zero ideas of what to perform. I was going to play Weezer's "Island in the Sun", but then I found out that the ukulele club (yes, it exists) is playing that. For a few minutes I wanted to play Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother", until my mother said that everyone would laugh at me. Nice to have a supportive family. Any ideas? I'm pretty desperate. Leave them in the comments section.

Which is empty, as always.

At least I have you, Mister Krabs. 


Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son! 
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch." 

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the tumtum tree
And stood a while in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood
And burbled as it came!

One two! One two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack. 
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Quote of the Week

"Tomorrow is always fresh, with no new mistakes in it."
—Anne of Green Gables