Monday, May 5, 2014

Monday Music III

This Monday, I wanted to show you all my favourite band: WALK THE MOON. 

Here is "Blue Dress" from the album "I Want! I Want!"


Monday, April 21, 2014

How to Deal With a Minor Mental Breakdown

**DISCLAIMER** This is for the minor, existential, often adolescence-based panic that is sometimes exaggerated into a mental breakdown. If you are actually having a real mental breakdown, take a breath and contact a doctor.

So, I was just sitting on my kitchen floor when it hit me: I am a terrible human being that does not deserve to live. I told my mother. She rolled her eyes. So, as my sadness began to rise, so did my anger. I have a history of slight self-harm which I have sworn off, and I knew that that wasn't an option. I couldn't bitch to my mother because she was sick and tired of hearing my voice (I had talked more than my share today). Then I decided to turn my negative emotions into a positive outcome. "What is this?" You are thinking. "I am not reading some non-profit-self-help-spiritual-wholistic-bullshit off of the internet." Just hear me out. What I am talking about is angsty art. Genius ideas. Songs. Drawings. Blog posts. Or, if your not the creative type, I don't know, calculate the mass of Alpha Centauri or something. Anything to change the subject. Because, let's face it, listening Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother" on repeat while smashing plates isn't going to handle anything.

What you'll need:

  • Anything that you like or remotely tolerate. Heck, anything you hate. Anything that you have on hand, really (I happened to use an old magazine)
  • Music of your choice. Pop, alternative, rock, punk, indie, classical, Swedish rock opera, if that's what you're into; any will work. 
  • Tape, colored pencils, markers, paper, photographs, paint, a musical instrument, a notebook, pens, makeup, ice cubes, a calculator, or anything that could make art/a mess/noise/anything productive. I recommend staying away from sharp objects in such a fragile state.
What you don't need:
  • An idea
  • A critic
  • Friends
  • An audience

Too vague? OK. 


  • Try throwing ice cubes in the shower. It's like breaking glass, but less harmful. Still destructive, still angsty, still just as satisfying. 
  • Try writing. Rants are always fun. Take it from me.
  • Write a song. Who knows? Maybe you'll wind up the next Taylor Swift with all of your angry song-rants about people who have screwed you over. 
  • Draw a picture. No one has to see it, which is the best part. You can draw whattteeeverrr you want. 
  • Make a collage. This is what I did, sort of:
See, when I get angry, I crave darkness. So, I used an old magazine to cover up my windows. 

Check it:

Now, my windows contain advice, a tampon ad, and several pictures of Emma Stone. 

If you need help, watch Easy A. There is a great angsty-art-creating-montage (which is actually just her sewing an "A" onto lingerie to prove a point). 

The other movie that came into mind while doing this was Silver Linings Playbook, partially because Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence seemed like the type of characters who would do this. Actually, they do. I guess you could categorize their running or dancing into a way to get their anger out. But I am not doing a movie review right now.

Anyway, whatever it is that you end up doing, have fun with it. It'll get out stress and hopefully calm you down. Or wind you up and motivate you to do something EVEN BETTER. 



Thursday, April 17, 2014

Very punny.

Okay yeah, so it's been a while. Never mind that. I don't have any followers as of now so it really isn't much of a concern. I mean, whatever. As Olivia would say,

"''S'cool, bruh"

Anyway, here is a list of puns that you have probably already heard.
(These work best when read aloud)
"Alphabet soup? More like times new ramen."
"A dyslexic man walks into a bra."
"If satan ever loses his hair, there will be hell toupee."
"When fish are in schools, sometimes they take debate."
"A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months."
"A will is a dead giveaway."
"Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point."
"Eating clocks is very time consuming. Especially when you go back for seconds."
"98% of cross eyed teachers have difficulty controlling thier pupils."
"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it."
"Ever have sex while camping? It's fucking in tents."


As I think I may have stated before, I kind of have a problem with We Heart It, but, at the same time, it's a good place to find interesting photos and funny quotes. So, without further ado, let me present to you what I have found on my internet searches through the pink and white wasteland of teenage angst this week:

(yes, that's an onion)

Stay golden,

Friday, April 11, 2014

Quote of the Week

Because of the recent *heartbreaking* ending of my favourite show, How I Met Your Mother, I decided that this week's quote should be by the great Barney Stinson, because, let's face it, he taught us all how to live. 


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Enough about me (poem)

I’ve been talking your ear off for at least fifteen minutes, and I wish you were listening, not checking your phone. 
‘Cause I know that you’d rather just listen to music and leave this here hellhole and leave me 
But, enough about me.
I want to hear about you. Who are you texting? What songs do you know? 
I like that one by that band on that station. They played it one time on that scene on that show?
But, enough about me.
Tell me, what do you like? What are your hobbies? What’s your favorite food? 
Come on throw me a bone here! I’m making an effort, though I can tell clearly you’re not in the mood.
But, enough about me!
Or, enough about you? Or enough about everyone on this earth walking! Look, I can tell you don’t care about me, so I think it’d be better if you just stop talking. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

When you're on a holiday, you can't find the words to say All the things that come to you And I wanna feel it too

We started a blog in math class today. It was an educational blog, so it wasn't much fun, and the whole time people were complaining. "I hate blogging!" or "This is so totes lame like omg like can u not?" And yes, that is actually how people my age talk. Anyway, that got me to thinking that I should post something today. It just felt like a blogging day, you know?

So, I'm in a predicament. Actually, several. My main pickle at the moment is that I signed up for the school's open mic with my "band" (and by band I mean a rag tag group consisting of a sorta-bassist, a kinda-drummer, and a not-really-guitar player who writes music), and at the last minute, we learned that there are no drums aloud. Then my bass player abandoned me. And now I am, as they say, "AAALLL BYYY MYSEELLLLFFFFF". So I have to sing something and play the guitar/ukulele in front of my entire school, and I have zero ideas of what to perform. I was going to play Weezer's "Island in the Sun", but then I found out that the ukulele club (yes, it exists) is playing that. For a few minutes I wanted to play Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother", until my mother said that everyone would laugh at me. Nice to have a supportive family. Any ideas? I'm pretty desperate. Leave them in the comments section.

Which is empty, as always.

At least I have you, Mister Krabs.