**DISCLAIMER** This is for the minor, existential, often adolescence-based panic that is sometimes exaggerated into a mental breakdown. If you are actually having a real mental breakdown, take a breath and contact a doctor.
So, I was just sitting on my kitchen floor when it hit me: I am a terrible human being that does not deserve to live. I told my mother. She rolled her eyes. So, as my sadness began to rise, so did my anger. I have a history of slight self-harm which I have sworn off, and I knew that that wasn't an option. I couldn't bitch to my mother because she was sick and tired of hearing my voice (I had talked more than my share today). Then I decided to turn my negative emotions into a positive outcome. "What is this?" You are thinking. "I am not reading some non-profit-self-help-spiritual-wholistic-bullshit off of the internet." Just hear me out. What I am talking about is angsty art. Genius ideas. Songs. Drawings. Blog posts. Or, if your not the creative type, I don't know, calculate the mass of Alpha Centauri or something. Anything to change the subject. Because, let's face it, listening Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother" on repeat while smashing plates isn't going to handle anything.
What you'll need:
Anything that you like or remotely tolerate. Heck, anything you hate. Anything that you have on hand, really (I happened to use an old magazine)
Music of your choice. Pop, alternative, rock, punk, indie, classical, Swedish rock opera, if that's what you're into; any will work.
Tape, colored pencils, markers, paper, photographs, paint, a musical instrument, a notebook, pens, makeup, ice cubes, a calculator, or anything that could make art/a mess/noise/anything productive. I recommend staying away from sharp objects in such a fragile state.
What you don't need:
Now: START DOING SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
Too vague? OK.
Try throwing ice cubes in the shower. It's like breaking glass, but less harmful. Still destructive, still angsty, still just as satisfying.
Try writing. Rants are always fun. Take it from me.
Write a song. Who knows? Maybe you'll wind up the next Taylor Swift with all of your angry song-rants about people who have screwed you over.
Draw a picture. No one has to see it, which is the best part. You can draw whattteeeverrr you want.
Make a collage. This is what I did, sort of:
See, when I get angry, I crave darkness. So, I used an old magazine to cover up my windows.
Now, my windows contain advice, a tampon ad, and several pictures of Emma Stone.
If you need help, watch Easy A. There is a great angsty-art-creating-montage (which is actually just her sewing an "A" onto lingerie to prove a point).
The other movie that came into mind while doing this was Silver Linings Playbook, partially because Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence seemed like the type of characters who would do this. Actually, they do. I guess you could categorize their running or dancing into a way to get their anger out. But I am not doing a movie review right now.
Anyway, whatever it is that you end up doing, have fun with it. It'll get out stress and hopefully calm you down. Or wind you up and motivate you to do something EVEN BETTER.
As I think I may have stated before, I kind of have a problem with We Heart It, but, at the same time, it's a good place to find interesting photos and funny quotes. So, without further ado, let me present to you what I have found on my internet searches through the pink and white wasteland of teenage angst this week:
Because of the recent *heartbreaking* ending of my favourite show, How I Met Your Mother, I decided that this week's quote should be by the great Barney Stinson, because, let's face it, he taught us all how to live.
We started a blog in math class today. It was an educational blog, so it wasn't much fun, and the whole time people were complaining. "I hate blogging!" or "This is so totes lame like omg like can u not?" And yes, that is actually how people my age talk. Anyway, that got me to thinking that I should post something today. It just felt like a blogging day, you know?
So, I'm in a predicament. Actually, several. My main pickle at the moment is that I signed up for the school's open mic with my "band" (and by band I mean a rag tag group consisting of a sorta-bassist, a kinda-drummer, and a not-really-guitar player who writes music), and at the last minute, we learned that there are no drums aloud. Then my bass player abandoned me. And now I am, as they say, "AAALLL BYYY MYSEELLLLFFFFF". So I have to sing something and play the guitar/ukulele in front of my entire school, and I have zero ideas of what to perform. I was going to play Weezer's "Island in the Sun", but then I found out that the ukulele club (yes, it exists) is playing that. For a few minutes I wanted to play Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother", until my mother said that everyone would laugh at me. Nice to have a supportive family. Any ideas? I'm pretty desperate. Leave them in the comments section.